Look different around here?
(Is that my official question of 2016?)
First, thanks to the other CW for patiently redesigning this behemoth of a blog for me. I don’t need to explain how it was more of an overhaul than a redesign—hours spent deleting things from databases, media galleries, and my brain. It was time to clear out the cobwebs. And like my godmother Jeanne said recently in a note that accompanied 3 new pairs of extra-skimpy undies she sent me in the mail: out with the old, in with the new. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve upgraded more than my underwear, although that felt like a pretty crucial step in the right direction. In addition to a total brain rewiring over the last 8 months (I’ve never been a more effusively positive thinker than I am these days; how is that possible?), I had a few other changes.
Hardware.
Nothing can quite prepare you for getting rid of your bridal hardware. And I mean nothing. You’re attached to that thing, yet you never want to see it again. You’re angry, protective, and detached all at once. Mostly, it just feels like a huge waste. It’s the most wasteful part of the whole debacle—the most unholy lifting of the garbage can lid.
A neat and tidy trade-in yielded some new sparkly things I’d never have gotten myself on my own—just tasteful ladylike stuff that lifts my spirits. Seems like a good arrangement.
The house is different, too. Where I went to fill holes that were created after Day Zero, I found myself selecting things that reflected the new me. It was a bit frustrating to have just “finished” the house and to then have to start over again, but we’re talking blessings in disguise this year, and this was one of them.
More new hardware came into the picture, too. In replacing some old with some new—these new additions were “not someone else’s. Not a hand-me-down. Not from the dining hall. Mine.” Reclaiming your identity through certain purchases can be incredibly fun. They make me smile whenever I open the drawer:
Software.
They say people don’t change, but I disagree. My actual brain chemistry has changed. So many small things make me immeasurably happy, because I feel entitled to be happy now. I’ve earned happy. You stop picking out the negative things in life to dwell on when positive things feel so necessary.
In a way, this redesign reflects that, too. Amen!
Also, apropos of nothing other than that he’s soft, here’s Eli. Venturing into single parenthood has been a touch heartbreaking (I’m projecting human emotions on him, clearly, but I do want to do just as good a job giving him 2x the love and affection) but I think we’re both adjusting. See if you can guess what he was up to this day:
And someone in Richmond tagged this parking garage wall with an exceptional prediction for the upcoming summer. Not that I’m about to embark on a slutfest (far from it, although it sounds particularly festive), but it seems promising for the rest of the community. Like, the unmarried contingent. Get it, yall. Now that I’m one of you again, I feel a sense of solidarity. If you wanna have a summer 16 slutfest, like, by all means! #Summer16Slutfest!
That’s all for now. Beep bop bop.
-C.
[Deets for the cheap seats: Free People sweatshirt + old cutoffs + Joie Ajax booties.]
Love, love, love the re-design. And, the pic of Eli is epic!